A few years ago it was my privilege to sit with Sharon when she asked me to interview for her graduate school research project on Healers. I had never thought of myself as that until she and I explored my childhood and life of service. Her written words touched me deeply and made me reflect on how I apparantly impact others. I was - and continue to be - humbled by this. Her essay has sat hidden away all these years - for what else would I do with it? But now I think this is where it is meant to be shared. Perhaps YOU are a healer too, and never thought of yourself as that? Today I am a Reiki Practitioner and my heart soars with opportunities to channel God's love and the spiritual, emotional or physical mending that often follows. Now for Sharon's story...
We humans do not heal other humans; rather, we facilitate, channel, make a space for, healing energy, which comes from what I choose to call God. Every person can learn to do this, however, it seems to come more easily and naturally to some than to others. Some people seem more inclined toward intuition, listening, interest in other people, and giving attention to others’ suffering. Though these “naturals” may enhance their skills with appropriate cognitive adjuncts and personal, inner work, others may require much more conscious development and hard work to achieve the same ability. These differences may stem from different personalities, different belief systems, or wounding/blockages in various areas of the psyche. Traumatic events, such as dealing with death, illness, injury, physical or mental handicapping, abuse, neglect, of loved ones or of ourselves, may open our hearts, paving the way for later helpfulness to others; these events may also callous the heart, making it inaccessible to the self or to others. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says, “All pain is a gift”, and this is potentially true; although it may take longer for some than for others to realize the gift in pain. Some research supports that the growth of spirituality is a developmental stage beginning in later middle-age; if this is so, people may find facilitating healing easier later in life, than earlier.
I have come into contact with many, many healers during my life. The most important childhood healer was my grandmother, who had the gift of listening non-critically and of empowerment through genuine praise and support... going to my grandmother to talk and be heard was an incredible gift. Receiving her beaming assessment of me worked wonders...
One present day healer in my life, with whom I recently sat to interview, is my friend and hospice colleague, Dale Clark. Dale has that ineffable presence about her which invites one to let down and open up. She exudes compassion and safety; people trust her with their deepest confessions. Confession embodies an extremely healing function, and by its nature it employs a witness. This witness capacity is central for the healer, and it entails more than just active listening. For lack of exactly appropriate wording, I’ll say “holy listening”. It is active listening compounded with spiritual presence and loving compassion.
Dale’s life as a young person was a relatively happy one. Her parents had both come from somewhat troubled beginnings, and entered their marriage with a strong agenda to make their home happy and loving. Dale remembers her mother teaching her that children need to be listened to; they need loving adults to really be there for them. Another message from her childhood was that spirit is real; there is more to life than what we can physically observe between birth and death. Many of her mother’s female ancestors had psychic ability. Dale heard talk of séances and spirits, and her mother visited psychics for readings. As a young person, listening to herself and following her hunches was normal behavior for Dale. At 12years old, God gave her the message that her life was about being of service to others. She later decided to go to nursing school, and subsequently worked with children for more than half of a 22-year nursing career. Dale was frequently the nurse called in for upset children who needed to be treated quickly. In retrospect, Dale realizes that she must have centered down and become conscious of the “God within”, because she instinctively calmed herself, quietly approached the upset child speaking very softly, and then touched them gently on the back or the hands. The children always settled right down. This was normal behavior for Dale; this was not a skill she was cognizant of studying or learning.
After her husband and teenage son died in accidents ten weeks apart, the centering, calming, focusing behavior she used in her work became integral for her own survival. Dale used prayer and meditation regularly to try to find some peace; some spiritual comfort. When peace actually came to her (experienced as waves and waves of warm energy washing over her), she realized there really was something to all of this. The spiritual process of giving over control of external circumstances and acceptance of what is (Dale calls this, “turning it over to God”), got her through a lot of pain following these incredible losses.
Dale still uses her centering, calming, focusing practice in her work and also in her regular, everyday interactions. In her role as Coordinator of Bereavement for Hospice Volunteers of Waterville Area, I have seen clients relax and open to Dale very quickly because they feel her compassion and warmth, and with this comes the safety to speak of their suffering. I have experienced it myself when I’ve needed to process something with Dale after facilitating a bereavement group or just when having coffee with her, friend to friend.
I feel that a healer, whether informally or formally, transmits God energy to another living being. If this happens, healing on some level happens, though it may not necessarily be discernable. This healing has little to do with training; it can be accomplished by the toll taker on the highway as easily as by the therapist in her office. It is certainly possible to set out to be a healer and to accomplish only the ability to perform a set of skills. Healer-hood is a grace and although it seems it can be accomplished by a process of soul growth, some seem to be born with it or to exhibit it at an early age.
I am able to feel it about people. I offer the example of two chiropractors I visited in the Portland area many years ago. One chiropractor had a beautiful, new office, was newly trained and seemed to have good technical skills. She used x-rays and the latest equipment and therapies to diagnose and treat. When I left her office, I felt a little sore and out of sorts, though trusted that I was getting the best treatment. The second chiropractor was a middle-aged Australian man who had his office on the first floor of his home. He did not believe in using x-rays, his equipment, though not shabby, was used. He always laid his hands on my back, gently, and held them there for a minute or two before doing anything at all. In that minute or two, I felt IT; the healing God energy. I knew this man was a healer (a channeler), and that God was the diagnostician. My back was healed, and I never left feeling sore and out of sorts. The other chiropractor was technically facile only. The tables might have been turned; the woman might have also been a healer (and indeed may have become a healer since) – a healer with fancy equipment – though I’ve observed that, more often than not, they don’t go together.
